Class Divide
by LittleMissNobody123
Summary: A role reversal which sees Tom, the eldest child of the Earl of Grantham falling head over heels for the housemaid Sybil.
1. Chapter 1 - AKA What a life!

**"Keep on chasing down that rainbow**  
**You'll never know what you might find**  
**Over the sunset on the horizon**  
**Maybe you dream but it tastes like poison"**

**Noel Gallagher - AKA... What a life**

* * *

_Robert stood motionless in front of the fireplace trying to take in what was happening. Mary was sat on the chaise lounge speechless, for what seemed like the first time in her existence, Matthew and Lavinia sat next to her looking bewildered as to what had overcome the Crawley family. Edith was staring at the door whilst her mother, Cora, was sat in the chair with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. Grandma Violet, again not one to be left dumbstruck, was readjusting her glasses to see if her aging eyes were playing tricks on her. They weren't. The figure that was attracting so much attention was a young man of the age of 30. He had short red hair, slightly spiked up and dressed head to toe in a smart army uniform. If only slightly more eye catching than his red hair were his beautiful sapphire eyes and the broad smile attached to his face. After 6 long years, he had finally made it. However, the reaction he had received was not the one he'd been looking for._

_"I… I don't understand" said Robert, furrowing his brow._  
_"Neither do I" stated Matthew, "Would somebody please explain what is going on?"_  
_Mary spoke, not taking her eyes off the man stood in the doorway, "This is… This is… Tom…"_  
_Now it was Matthew's turn to look shocked, "But, I thought he went down with the Titanic…", questioned Matthew._  
_"Aye, I did" said the soft Irish voice of the man in the doorway, "I was lucky to survive… It's a long story" he smiled. They were all taken aback. To here this voice after so long, it sounded so strange…_

_- Tom was the elder brother of Mary and Edith Crawley. He had been the heir to Downton and therefore, his parents refused to take any chances. As much as it pained them to do so, Tom was sent away to Ireland to be educated and raised as a Lord, to find his independence and to return to Downton in the summer. It had necessarily worked as they had wished. Tom had always been somewhat of a free spirit. He was the sweetest person that you could ever meet and had a heart of gold. He was never sad, he would always comfort and advise others, but he no way had the making to be an earl. He didn't believe in the class system. He didn't like the fact that the servants waited on them hand and foot. That is why he had always strived to make friends with them and as a child would spend most of his time in the kitchen, much to the annoyance of his father. -_

_The room was silent again and all of the faces were looking at him. Nobody had dared to approach him but Cora could no longer contain her excitement._  
_"My baby" she croaked through her tears, "I have may baby boy back!"_  
_She was so happy. The house had never particularly been the same since they'd lost Tom. Be it the family or the servants, they were always choked up whenever they thought about him. But now he was back. There gorgeous baby boy was back. Not everyone was as happy as Cora._  
_"Cora" said Robert, he gave her a look and she stepped back from hugging her son, "What is your purpose here?" he demanded._  
_Tom's smile faded, "What do you mean?"_  
_"What is your purpose here?" Robert repeated, his face not softening._  
_"I… I came to see my family"_  
_Robert was angry now. "Then where the hell have you been for the last 6 years?" he yelled._  
_Tom backed away slightly. He had wondered whether or not this had been a mistake and at the moment it was proving to be so…_

* * *

Tom woke from his restless slumber, that moment of rejection still haunting his dreams. He wondered if his father had yet fully come to terms with his return to Downton. The rest of the household had welcomed him back with open arms, but it seemed his father was still in shock. He pulled the covers around himself tighter and laid on his side sighing. At least he was home now. Back in Downton. It was time for his new life to begin.


	2. Chapter 2 - Whole Again

**Looking back on when we first met, I cannot escape and I cannot forget.**

**Whole Again - Atomic Kitten**

* * *

Tom still didn't feel he fitted in to life back at Downton and he hurried down the steps towards the kitchen after a heated argument with his father. Tears stung Tom's eyes lightly, he'd never been good at dealing with rejection. As soon as he had reached the bottom of the stairs, he took the first left. He didn't want to walk through the kitchen and the pantry had a second door. That was where he used to hide as a child and it seemed as good a place as anywhere to get away from everything. Entering the room he found the corner he could be found hiding in as a child.

* * *

_Tears were pouring down Tom's face as he shuffled further under the shelf. He brought his knees up to his chest and cuddled his teddy softly. It had been his first time eating with the family whilst guests were there and he'd made a mess of everything. He could still see the disappointed look on his parent's faces. He'd spilt his drink, he'd dropped his food and he'd accidentally knocked the tray out of Carson's hands. The tears flooded thick down his cheeks as footsteps approached him._  
_"Penny for your thoughts" smiled Mrs Hughes gently as she crouched down to peer a 10 year old Tom in the face. _  
_"Ma… Ma and Pa are really, really angry with me… And, Mr Carson, he, he must hate me…" sobbed Tom._  
_Mrs Hughes smiled kindly, "Don't be silly my lad. Nobody's angry with you. Everyone has accidents and that's all that happened today." she looked him in the eye, "Now dry those eyes and how about we go and apologise to Mr Carson, then we'll see if Mrs Patmore has some of that delicious pudding for you"…_

* * *

Tom was pulled from his memory by the sound of the door creaking open. A pretty young maid entered, searching the shelves high and low. It was only when she turned around that she noticed his presence.  
"Oh my goodness" she gasped as she noticed Tom. She looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights and she curtsied awkwardly before him.  
"I'm sorry m'lord I didn't realise you were in here" she stuttered.  
He smiled kindly at her, "There's no need to apologise, I just came down here for a bit of peace and quiet!"  
She smiled back at him. There was something that made him different from the others. The way he spoke to her. The way he smiled. The way he looked into her eyes as he spoke.  
"You're new here aren't you?" enquired Tom.  
She nodded nervously, "It's my first week."  
He smiled at her, "Well I hope you are finding everyone is friendly. I'm Tom, Lord Grantham's son." He wasn't sure if she would know about him, but it seemed she was already aware, suggesting that he had been the topic of conversation below stairs.  
"I know sir, It's a pleasure to meet you."  
"May I ask for your name?"  
"Of course Sir" her mother would have been disappointed in her manners, "It's Sybil, sir."  
"Sybil" he smiled at the word, "That's a very pretty name."  
She blushed at his words as he walked past her towards the door.  
"Welcome to the family Sybil" he grinned, before closing the door.  
She exhaled as he left, all of her nerves leaving her body. Her heart was beating rapidly and she clutched the shelf for support. She understood what the others had meant when they said he was quite the looker. She sighed. These were bad thoughts for the first week on her new job, no, these were bad thoughts to be having altogether. A yell from Mrs Patmore pulled her away from her thoughts and she found the item she was looking for on the shelf just above where Tom had been sitting. Smiling to herself, she grabbed the bag and hurried back to the kitchen…


	3. Chapter 3 - Talk

**Oh brother I can't, I can't get through**  
**I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do**  
**Oh brother I can't believe it's true**  
**I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you**  
**Oh I wanna talk to you**

**Talk - Coldplay**

Tom had found himself drifting through life at Downton. His father was still ignoring him and the rest of the family's excitement at his return had died down somewhat. He seemed to be coping rather well but was growing tiresome of being dressed up like a doll and socialising with people who had little respect for anyone other than their own class. Although he was very pleased that he had been able to have a couple of quick conversations with Sybil. She was so well spoken and open minded and he found himself increasingly craving conversations with her.  
On this particular evening, Tom was lying in bed thinking back to the conversation he had had with her earlier in the day…

* * *

_Sybil was busy scrubbing the floor of the great hall when she saw a pair of shoes approaching her. She looked up and she saw those startling sapphire blue eyes staring back at her. She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face and she leant back onto her heels to greet him properly. _

_"Hello M'lord, is there something I can help you with?" she asked sweetly._  
_He smiled back at her, gazing into her emerald eyes, "Oh nothing" he said nonchalantly, " I have nothing to do today and everyone seems to be busy. I thought you'd perhaps enjoy some company whilst you worked… But I can go if you would like" he gestured towards the door._  
_"No, no" she said quickly before regretting her sudden eagerness for his company, "I mean if you have nothing to do, I wouldn't mind the company…"._  
_He smiled happily and perched himself on the steps of the grand staircase._

_Hours passed and they had chatted happily, finding out more about each other and laughing. Lots of laughing._  
_"So, you've been in service since you were sixteen?" he asked._  
_"Yes, my mother was struggling to pay the bills and needed another wage earner in the family. Service wasn't necessarily my first choice._  
_He looked at her sad expression and his brow furrowed, "You have another ambition?" he questioned._  
_She giggled, "There's no need to sound so surprised"._  
_He looked embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"_  
_She cut him off, "I was joking M'lord"._  
_"I thought I told you not to call me that" he grinned cheekily._  
_She smiled again, "Sorry, Tom… Of course, I have ambitions. One day I hope to train as a nurse."_  
_"That's wonderful" beamed Tom, he could see her as a nurse. She was caring, she was patient and she seemed to have the temperament of a nurse... "What about you Tom?" she asked earnestly, "Do you have ambitions? I know I'm not going to be a maid forever. I want a job where I can be of the most use possible, to have a job of real meaning. Things won't always be this way, the time of people working in service is coming to an end and I want to be ready."_

_He couldn't help but admire the way she spoke. So sure of where she was going to go and how to achieve it. He had never told anyone, not even William his most trusted of friends, God rest his soul, what he wanted to achieve in life. He had been so occupied with getting through the war that he hadn't even allowed himself to think of the future, but now he was sure. "You promise you won't make fun of me if I tell you?" he asked shyly._  
_She didn't say anything, just nodded him encouragingly._  
_"I… I want to be a writer" he said softly._  
_Sybil looked at him and smiled, "Why would I make fun of you? That's a brilliant idea."_  
_He smiled at her approval, but it was a weak smile, "My father wouldn't agree with you. He thinks I'm incapable. He thinks that I am a child that needs constant care. He doesn't see me as someone who could achieve so much in life, to have a career. He'd laugh and ask who the hell would be interested in what I have to say."_  
_She grimaced, "He should be proud of you…"_

* * *

Tom sighed. He wished their conversation could have lasted forever, but the sound of the car in the drive had sent him on his way. That night wasn't a very good one for him. He was restless and there were a couple of times he woke up in a cold sweat, but he now had the perfect remedy to calm himself down. His panic could easily be halted by the image of brown flowing locks and those beautiful shining emerald eyes…


	4. Chapter 4 - Eighteen

**I wanna drive up to my old house driveway**  
**Take a walk around my old bedroom**  
**Let the laughter and the memories surround me**  
**I wonder if they love it like I used to**  
**Do, do, do, do, do**  
**Where did the time go?**  
**Do, do, do ,do, do**  
**The little boy in the photos**  
**Why can't it all just be like yesterday**

**Eighteen - Richard Fleeshman**

* * *

Tom sat at the breakfast table bleary eyed. He'd had a restless night and he wasn't feeling that great. He didn't mind breakfast though. He enjoyed spending time with his family and he had missed his sisters dearly. He had found Matthew very easy to get along with too, but he found it difficult to get along with Lavinia. He couldn't deny she was a sweet girl but he could see behind Mary's mask and how much the two of them being together hurt her. However, Tom didn't dislike her like he did Sir Richard Carlisle. Tom was one of those people who it was hard to dislike and in turn he found it very hard to dislike others, but Carlisle was one of the foulest creatures he'd met. It was his pure arrogance that Tom disliked the most and when Mary announced over breakfast that he'd be dining with them that evening Tom had the very difficult task of holding his tongue.

After they had finished breakfast the family went outside to sit in the garden, Matthew had business back at his mother's home and Lavinia had accompanied him. The sun was radiating down onto the vast gardens of Downton and the family spent hours lazing around. The heat was pleasant and the men had taken off their jackets and rolled up their sleeves, accepting this pleasant burst of nice weather.

* * *

It was well into the afternoon when Tom got up from his seat. He looked slightly dazed and stood very still. His family looked at him, concerned and Edith stood up rushing to her brother's side.  
"Tom?" she asked concerned, "Are you okay?"  
Tom stood silently for a moment more and Edith was just about to speak again when he tapped her on the arm.  
"TIG!" he yelled and charged across the lawn turning around to show his family a massive grin. Edith smiled in relief and mocked annoyance at him.  
"Come on!" yelled Tom.  
She smiled and chased after her brother. It wasn't long before Tom was running back over towards the rest of his family and tigging Mary before running to safety. Mary, not looking away from her book yelled at him.  
"I'm not playing" she called.  
Tom wasn't taking no for an answer, "What's the matter?" He yelled back, "Scared you're going to lose?"  
That was it. There was no way in the world Mary was going to be a loser. She put her book down and ran after Tom and the three of them ran around chasing each other and laughing. It was a lovely sight (one in which he would talk to Sybil about tomorrow) to see the siblings together again and chasing each other around like when they were children. By the time the cars were pulling up with Matthew and Lavinia and Sir Richard Carlisle, they had thrown themselves fully into the game and both girls were currently chasing Tom trying to trap him. They were having such a laugh and a smile spread across the faces of Matthew and Lavinia at the sight of the three. It was very cute. Carlisle however was less amused. His face was stern and he glared at Mary. Tom, deciding the only thing he could be with Carlisle was civil, after all perhaps he had misjudged him, ran over to the two cars.  
"Do you want to join in? We're playing tig" he asked the three.  
"We're very sorry, but we're changed for dinner and we don't want to get all messed up" smiled Matthew kindly, "It does look like fun though!"  
Carlisle glared a Tom, "Why would I want to make a fool of myself?" he said coldly, "You are adults for goodness sake, yet you are behaving like children."  
Tom glared back at Carlisle, "Perhaps just sometimes Carlisle, you should take the world a little less seriously."  
With that Tom had turned back towards his sisters, a smile returning to his face and ran back over. However, Mary's happiness and enjoyment seemed to have seeped away as soon as the two cars pulled up.  
"I don't have time for these stupid games" she sighed and she walked, nose in the air, towards her parents. Tom sighed. He thought perhaps he'd been able to bring back the old Mary, the sweet child that she had been instead of the stone faced woman she had turned into. Tom wanted his sister back.

Why must they all be so serious?


	5. Chapter 5 - Jerk it out

**_Thank you for all of the lovely comments and for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it! I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, but hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter. Please feel free to make comments if you don't like something or feel I could improve/ include something. Thanks again!_**

**Shut up hush your mouth, can't you hear you talk to loud**

**No I can't ask nothing cause you got your head up in the clouds**

**Jerk it Out - The Caesars**

Tom looked into the mirror, brushing himself down before going downstairs for dinner. He wasn't looking forward to this.

* * *

Dinner was a horrid affair. He sat there boiling over with every comment Carlisle made to him. Carlisle hated Tom. He wanted to rile him up and make him as angry as he possibly could. That was his aim for dinner that evening.

"Tom, how is life at Downton going for you?"  
"Very well Carlisle. I didn't realise I'd missed my family this much!"  
His family smiled, bar his father.  
"We are still getting used to having him back" said Lord Grantham.  
Tom grimaced.  
"What about you Carlisle? How is life in the world of publishing?" asked Tom.  
"Business is good" he smiled, "Ireland is keeping our pages brimming"  
Tom knew that one was coming.  
"I would stray away from the topic of Ireland if I were you" Edith interrupted, "Tom grew up there, he has some very particular views of what's going on there."  
"Really", smirked Carlisle, "He'll be interested in reading my paper then?"  
Don't retaliate Tom, don't retaliate he thought.  
"Please" said Mary, "It's so undignified to discuss politics at the table."  
"I'm just intrigued by it all" prodded Carlisle, "Not so much his views… He doesn't really seem to fit into this family does he?"  
Tom clenched his fists under the table.  
"Tom has always been somewhat of a… free spirit" uttered Lord Grantham.  
Tom could hear the disappointment in his voice and he was sick of it.  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" scoffed Tom.  
Everyone turned to look at him. It took a brave man to answer back to Lord Grantham.  
"Excuse me?" said Robert, looking at his son in shock and slight disgust.  
"All I'm saying is why doesn't it surprise me that YOU agree with him."  
Robert made to interrupt but Tom was having none of it.  
"NO. I have had enough of this. You all sit there, 'poor Tom why couldn't he be like the rest of us, why did he have to be an outcast?' because that's how you see me isn't it? You see me as an outcast, a disappointment to your aristocratic ways. You've hated the way I am ever since I was a little boy, you doted over Mary and Edith whilst you shunned me, why? Because I was different? Because I didn't abide by your ideals, because I have my own mind. Because I always look for the best in people and treat everyone as equal. Saint Robert, he who has done know wrong, well I know better don't I daddy?"

* * *

Tom had snapped. He was fuming. He was sick of the judgement. It would appear that a lot had changed in those six years away but his father had stayed the old stubborn mule he'd always been. Having stood to yell at his father he looked around the room at the shocked faces of the other dinner guests, the anger in his father's eyes and the smugness in Carlisle's. But he wasn't going to give any of them a chance. Already feeling a burning headache, he turned his back on the table and with a quiet, "please excuse me" he departed the room and moved towards the door. He needed fresh air. He needed to clear his head.

* * *

His mind was still clouded with anger, even after his short walk and he was pretty sure that this was going to be the case for some considerable time. Then he saw her. She was juggling the two full to bursting washing bags and he couldn't help but smile as he noticed a dark curl tumble in front of her eyes. He chuckled lightly as he watched her try and blow the curl out of her eyes and watched it as it drooped back down into the same place. After a few seconds of watching her struggle he made his way over to her, following her through the door to the servants hall and picking up one of the pillow cases that had fallen out of her basket, taking her by surprised.

"Milord, wha-what are you doing in the servants hall?" she asked, totally taken aback by his appearance and placing the baskets on the floor. She couldn't deny he was looking very handsome, especially with his undone bow tie. She sighed, a little to obviously and immediately began to blush. Luckily he didn't notice. He smiled at her softly and her heart melted, "I thought I told you to call me Tom".

"I'm sorry mi... Tom", he smiled at her stutter.

"How are you feeling" she asked softly looking into his eyes, "We heard about what happened at dinner."

He sighed. Not her too.  
" Oh and I suppose you think I was out of line just like the rest of them? You think I was being disrespectful and should act like one of them".

"Tom" she whispered softly, placing her hand on his arm, "I thought you were very brave".

Eyes shining he looked from the floor and into her eyes. She was so perfect. He placed his hand on top of hers and they stood like that for a couple of minutes, gazing into each other's eyes.

They were interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs and Sybil pulled away, picking up her baskets.

"We better go" she whispered, smiling at him, "I'll see you soon Tom".

He smiled as he watched her go and slipped through the door and back towards his room. Sooner rather than later he thought happily. For that moment, all of his anger had seeped away and he sighed happy and content. He was in love.


	6. Chapter 6 - Because of you

**_Thanks for all of your comments, I hope you guys are enjoying this. Feel free to comment any suggestions, if there is something you don't like or just anything, I love your feedback! Thanks for reading guys!_**

**Because of you**

**I find it hard to trust**

**Not only me, but everyone around me**

**Because of you, I am afraid**

Because of you - Kelly Clarkson

* * *

Last night's dinner had been on the minds of most of the household that morning. There was a lot of gossiping at breakfast in the servants hall and Sybil was finding it hard to hold her tongue.

"I can't believe someone would talk to his Lordship like that" gossiped one of the maids.  
"It's no wonder Lord Grantham won't accept him back into the family if he behaves like that" gossiped another.  
Don't bite Sybil. Don't bite.  
She seemed to be the only one on his side…

* * *

"Come on Mary, you can't say that I was the only one at fault, you've seen the way he's been with me" Tom sighed exasperated.

"Don't get angry with me Tom, I'm on your side" said Mary softly.  
"Then be on my side" said Tom in annoyance.  
"It's hard to be on your side when you act like that and what did you mean when you said that you knew better about papa being a 'saint'" she asked.  
"We're not discussing this" said Tom, "I just lost it, I know I shouldn't have, but I'm fed up of him looking down his nose at me" he scowled.  
Tom turned back to the window and drifted off into a daydream…

* * *

_A bleary eyed ten year old Tom sat in the big arm chair in the library. It was about one o'clock in the morning and he sat his blanket from his bed wrapped around him and clutching his teddy close to his chest. He couldn't sleep. He could never sleep through and little did he know this problem would stay with him into his adulthood. He shivered slightly in the cold of the room. He hadn't wanted to stay upstairs, he didn't want to wake anyone. He had sat their and cried for a long period of time and hadn't noticed his father enter the room._

_"Tommy, what are you doing down here? Why aren't you asleep?" asked Robert concerned._  
_"I'm sorry papa" sniffed Tom._  
_"Hush, hush child" he stood in the doorway._  
_He had never been good in dealing with emotion. Whenever one of the children had been upset it had always been dealt with by a servant or by his wife and now he found himself in the awkward position of being alone in the library crying son. He wasn't going to admit he liked it. Robert didn't believe men should show their emotions, but he could see his son was clearly caught up about something._  
_"Are you going to tell me what's the matter?" asked Robert._  
_Tom looked at him and his bottom lip wobbled, he had to tell him the truth or he'd just spend even more time suffering in silence._  
_"Papa" he whispered softly, new tears springing to his eyes._  
_The little boys words suddenly became rushed and his tears overtook, "I don't want to go back papa, I'm scared, I want to stay here with you and mama and Mary and Edith and teddy. Please don't send me back papa, please, please, please!"_  
_Robert looked stunned. He hadn't been expecting that at all. Why wouldn't his son want to go back to Ireland, back to his schooling? From what he had heard his son had so many friends in Ireland, so why was he getting so worked up?_  
_"Son, you know that isn't possible…" he stated, trying to sound comforting._  
_"Papa, please don't make me" he looked up at his father with glistening, tearful eyes._  
_"But why Tom, why don't you want to go back? I thought you liked school, I thought you had friends…" he was so confused._  
_That's when this scared little boy poured his heart out to his father. He told him of the way he was treated because his parents were 'English traitors' for sending their son to school in Ireland. He told him of the beatings he had received from them, whilst the school tried to mend the damage. He showed his father the bruises, the scars that littered his tiny body and through pouring his heart out to his father, it could be seen how much this had been plaguing his thoughts, how petrified he was._  
_Robert knew he should comforting his son, but he was blinded by his own selfishness. He turned his back on Tom and stared out of the window at the darkness._  
_"You have no choice son" he said softly._  
_"But papa…" Tom began to protest._  
_"NO!" Robert raised his voice and turned towards his son threateningly. Tom was scared, he'd never seen his father like this before._  
_"You will go back and you will learn. It is your duty, just like it was mine. One day YOU will be heir of Downton Abbey. Will you give up on that just as you are trying to give up on this? Don't be a disappointment to me Tom, you don't want to cause me even more embarrassment that you already have done, do you?" He knew he was being harsh, but he needed Tom to go back to school. He needed him to learn to be an heir. His own selfish need to protect Downton had clouded his judgement that he needed to put protecting his son above all else._  
_"Papa, I, I can't" he stuttered through tears._  
_"You will do as you are told" Robert flushed red with anger._  
_"No" cried Tom and with that Robert made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He hit him. He struck his son across the face. It wasn't very hard, but it was still bad. Tom's eyes filled with even more tears and he quickly ran from the room in floods of tears before Robert even had a chance to apologise._

* * *

_The next day (after Tom had spent most of the night crying) his suitcase was packed and he stood at the door, a slightly forlorn look on his face as he kissed his mother and sisters goodbye, holding onto his mother tightly before he was prized away to the car. His father hadn't come to say goodbye and was stood in the window of one of the rooms on the second floor. Tom was put in the back of the car and he turned to wave to his family before the car turned a corner and he could no longer see them. He cried for the rest of the journey to Ireland. He could never forgive his father._

* * *

"Tom, are you even listening to me?" asked Mary, snapping Tom back to the present day.

"Huh?"  
"I didn't think so" sighed Mary, "I leave you to your day dreaming then, but please Tom, try and act like an Earl's son at dinner later".  
Tom scowled, then bowing said "As you wish madame" making Mary giggle.  
"I'm serious" she said softly, before slipping out of the door. Tom turned to the door and sighed. He needed to talk to someone, he needed to lift this weight from his shoulders. He needed someone he could confide in. He needed Sybil.


	7. Chapter 7 - Imagine

**Imagine there's no countries  
It isn't hard to do  
Nothing to kill or die for  
And no religion too  
Imagine all the people living life in peace**

You, you may say  
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one  
I hope some day you'll join us  
And the world will be as one

**Imagine - John Lennon**

Tom spent much of the day searching for Sybil, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He knew that she'd be working and had set about searching the different rooms to see if she was in there. He knew he couldn't go and ask someone because that would look bad. What purpose would he have for seeking a maid? He wasn't going to give up though, he needed her, he couldn't get her off his mind. He decided that he had no other choice but to go down to the kitchen and make up some excuse for being there and why he needed to talk to Sybil.

* * *

When he got to the bottom of the servants stairs he heard a commotion coming from the kitchen. There was a happy squeal which made Tom smile. He had always believed that he was a servant born in the son of an Earl's body. He made his way towards the delicious smell coming from the kitchen and he stopped dead in the door. The scene before him made his heart hammer in his chest as he saw Sybil admiring a cake she had clearly made herself. She looked very proud of her work and Tom couldn't stop the huge smile that was forming on his face. When she looked up she saw him watching her, stood in the doorway and her smile grew even larger. The two were so contented at looking into each other's eyes and smiling that they had almost forgotten the presence of the other members of staff.

"Milord, what a surprise" said Mrs Patmore, "What brings you to the kitchen?"

Her words snapped Tom back into what was happening around him and he turned to the other members of staff.

"Oh, Mrs Patmore, I am very sorry for the intrusion, I was just wondering if I could borrow Sybil for a moment?" he asked sweetly.

"Sybil has a lot of work that needs attending to, may I ask why you require her assistance milord?" came the voice of Mrs Hughes from behind him.

"Mrs Hughes" smiled Tom, "I was wondering if I could borrow Miss Sybil, you see I am planning a surprise for mama as it is her birthday soon. I'm afraid my sisters are far too busy to help and I require the opinion of a woman, I'm afraid I don't really know much when it comes to gifts for women" he said innocently but with a bit of tongue and cheek.

Mrs Hughes smiled, oblivious to Tom's other reasons for wanting to spend time with the maid, it was very like him to plan a surprise for a member of the family.

"Well" she said softly, "I suppose we can spare Sybil for the afternoon".

Tom smiled happily, Mrs Hughes had always let him have his way and had adored him as a child (much like the rest of the staff).

"Very well" he said, "The car is being used by Edith, so we'll have to walk, is that okay?" he asked her.

"Of course, milord" said Sybil, her eyes never leaving his.

* * *

Tom and Sybil seemed to have spent ages walking and talking, it was one of the best afternoons he had had in a long time. They chatted and laughed and for that short period of time it felt as though there were no barriers and that the class system did not exist.

Sybil was curious about what had happened the other evening between Tom and his father. She knew it was none of her business, but she couldn't help but feel intrigued like many of the downstairs staff, as to what Tom was referring to when he said that Lord Grantham was, 'No saint'. Tom had noticed her silence and could see her mind was elsewhere.

"Is everything alright Sybil?" he asked gently.

The sound of her name snapped her away from her thoughts and she blushed as she looked at his, "Sorry?" she asked.

He smiled, "Your head seems to be up in the clouds" he remarked, "You know you can talk to me if something is troubling you."

She looked hesitant for a moment, but decided that she may as well ask him, he didn't have to answer. She was actually taken by surprise when he did tell her. His smile had faded when she asked which she thought meant that he was angry with her, but it was the story that had made him feel upset. She listened to what he had to say and added words of comfort where necessary, she really was a great comfort to him.

When he had finished he turned to look at her, his blue eyes sparkling with tears. She smiled at him warmly and placed a hand on his arm.

"You are an incredible man Tom" she said softly, "Not just for the fact that you've come out of this whole ordeal so strongly, but also for the fact that I don't know any man, aristocracy or servant, who has the courage to be so open to someone about their feelings."

He smiled at her shyly, "You don't think less of me?" he asked insecurely.

"Of course not" she replied, "If it's possible I think even more of you"

He smiled at her now, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, but more than anything he felt safe. He felt safer than he had felt in a long time, because he knew she didn't judge him and she knew she would keep his secret. The rest of the afternoon he felt like he was walking on a cloud. This was when he was at his happiest. Not when he was Lord Tom, son of an Earl but when he was simply and plainly Tom.

* * *

He stayed quiet that evening at dinner. He was still ignoring his father and it seemed his father was still ignoring him. The others ate their dinner making small, idle chat and then retired to the drawing room.

Tom briefly played billiards with Matthew before retiring to his room for the evening to replay the afternoons events in his head and to think of those startling blue eyes and gorgeous brown locks before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_The sound of screams surrounded him as it became harder and harder to breath. He could feel the darkness and the cold surrounding him, overwhelming him. He could feel the pain of the harsh cold against his skin and everything disappearing as his head submerged..._

_Then like a shot everything was real again, the loud noises of explosions, the shouts of men. The smell of stale sweat and of mud and of fear. He was trying to move but he couldn't, fear was taking over him. A bullet travelling slowly towards his head, but he couldn't move. Fear. Panic. This couldn't be happening, he couldn't do this. He couldn't not see her face again... Sybil. SYBIL!_

_"Tom. Tom." He could here her voice but it sounded so far away..._

__"TOM!"


	8. Chapter 8 - Swallowed in the sea

**_Would like to say another big thank you to everyone who has commented and who has been reading! And an especially big thank you to shana rose_**

**And I could write a song a hundred miles long**

**Well that's where I belong and you belong with me**

**And I could write it down or spread it all around**

**Get lost and then get found or swallowed in the sea**

**Swallowed in the sea - Coldplay**

* * *

"TOM!" said Sybil desperately as she tried to shake him from his dream. He'd been calling her name and he was covered in sweat, thrashing around in his bed. She was scared, she didn't know whether to go and fetch someone, but then how would she explain why he was calling her name? She shook his shoulders again and his eyes blinked open, wide and staring into hers.

"Sybil" he gasped breathlessly, his hand instinctively moving up to her face, her hands also rested either side of his face to keep his head still.

"It's okay, I'm here, it was just a dream" she comforted.

She perched on the side of the bed, knowing that if someone caught her she'd be fired on the spot but she didn't care. Tom needed her.

"It was just a dream?" he asked breathlessly and tears began to fill his eyes, "Thank God, it was just a dream" he sobbed.

She stroked his face absentmindedly to calm him and it wasn't long before his breathing returned to normal. He was the first one to break the silence.

"What are you doing in my room?" he asked softly, raising an eyebrow.

"Making the fire" she smiled softly, "Daisy has gone down with something, poor thing".

He looked away from her for a second before propping himself up against the headboard. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

"You know I'm always here for you Tom, all you have to do is ask" she said softly.

He opened his eyes and smiled weakly at her, "I'd love to talk, chance to do so would be a fine thing" he chuckled.

She was hesitant before she spoke again. "Perhaps we could meet this evening?" she asked quietly, afraid of being overheard.

He thought for a second before he replied, "Come to my room this evening" he whispered.

His room was next door to the servants staircase, it would be manageable for her to sneak in but still, the idea of a made being in a man's room, let alone the room of the son of an Earl.

Her mouth hung open a little, but his adorable innocent eyes melted her heart and she couldn't say no. She nodded her head before heading for the door, "I have to go, they'll be wondering where I am".

* * *

The day had gone slowly. He'd just wanted it to be the evening so he could see Sybil again. He decided to spend his day with Edith. With Mary being in a relationship Edith, as always, was becoming somewhat the forgotten child. Their parents used all their energy in seeing to Mary and setting her up for life as a married woman. Edith was sick of seeing people in happy relationships whilst she got ignored and Tom decided she was definitely in need of some tlc.

"Hello my dearest little sis" boomed Tom as he entered the library.

Edith turned around and smiled as her brother pulled her into a big hug.

"As everyone appears to be preoccupied today and it appears that we are at a loss as to what to do, we should spend the day together"

"Oh really?" asked Edith, "And what do you suggest we do?"

"Well if I remember correctly, a certain someone's favourite game was playing princesses?"

"And if a certain someone remembers correctly then we'd know that Mary was always the princess and I was the one who got to hold the princess's dress" she sighed.

"Yes, I do remember but I also realise that Mary isn't here today..." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Tom, we're too old for such childish fantasies"

"Too old, you're only as old as you act" he smiled as he bounced up and down on the spot before darting out the room and yelling, "Are you coming?"

Edith giggled before following him out of the room...

It wasn't long before Edith was beaming with happiness. Tom had spent the day cheering his sister up, she had changed into one of her fancy frocks before joining Tom in the garden where he decorated her hair with flowers. He then spent the rest of the day treating her like a princess, something which Edith really needed after the time she'd been having. When they walked back into the house she gave Tom a huge hug.

"Thank you, you really cheered me up today" she smiled.

"Any time for you sis" he smiled back, "Now, I think we should have a race... Who can make it upstairs first!" he laughed.

And off they both ran, laughing happily as they reached the top of the stairs.

* * *

Tom was sat on his bed, staring at the wall. It was almost time. She'd be here soon. He'd been sat there for well over an hour but he didn't mind waiting for her. All of a sudden there was a small knock at the door.

"Come in" he whispered. There she was, she looked so beautiful even in her dressing gown and she took his breath away.

She perched on the end of the bed and smiled at him. She didn't really know what to do with herself. Although she had been fairly informal with Tom before, treating him more as a friend than someone she worked for, but this was completely different. This felt so intimate but at the same time, felt so right. Having been silent for sometime, she decided to be bold, she swiveled her legs round so that she was facing him before she spoke.

"Are you going to tell me what this morning was about?" she asked softly.

He smirked, precise and to the point, that's what he loved about her.

"It was just a dream" he said.

"Sounded more like a nightmare to me."

"I suppose it was" he paused before sighing, "It happens quite often" he confessed.

"Tell me about it" she whispered, moving closer to him.

He closed his eyes and let his mind wander.

"It's always the same, it... it feels like I'm back there" he whispered...

_The sound of screams surround him and it becomes harder and harder to breath. He can feel the darkness and the cold surrounding him, overwhelming him. He can feel the pain of the harsh cold against his skin and everything disappearing as his head submerges..._

_Then like a shot everything is real again, the loud noises of explosions, the shouts of men. The smell of stale sweat and of mud and of fear. He is trying to move but he can't, fear is taking over him. A bullet travelling slowly towards his head, but he can't move. Fear. Panic. _

He opens his eyes and looks at her. Her face looks slightly pained.

"Your life before Downton" she whispers.

She knows little of his life before Downton, only that the family believed he had gone down with the Titanic and that when he had arrived back at Downton, he was dressed head to toe in army uniform. The war was yet to be over but she'd heard a heart problem had sent him home and that is how he had come to Downton and walked into her life.

He nodded slowly in response to her words before tearing his gaze away from her.

"Tell me what happened" she whispered again, "Only if you want to" she added.

He smiled but there was sadness in his eyes, "It's not pretty" he whispered, his eyes glistening with tears.

She smiled, "I'm made of tough stuff" she laughed.

He laughed too. "Well..."

* * *

_He was stood in his room, removing his tie when he was thrown off balance and onto the floor. The ship was shaking. Violently. When he managed to pick himself up off the ground and steady himself, he hurried towards the door. Heading towards the main dining hall, he was surrounded by other people heading in a similar direction. That was when panic set in. There was the screaming of women, children and men. Worried looks and people heading towards the deck. Lifeboats were being filled as he heard the news. The boat had hit an iceberg._

_He was still on board as more and more lifeboats were filled. He'd been offered a place but he couldn't bear to see other men, fathers, not getting a place on those lifeboats and had therefore offered up his place for a young man with a young wife and child. _

_He was on the Titanic when it went down._

_The water was freezing and the unbearable pain of the cold was unlike anything he'd experienced before. He had managed to grab a piece of wrecked ship to keep him afloat but the desperate kicking of his legs was becoming slower and slower. Tom could hear the screams echoing around, he was terrified. He didn't want to die this way, he didn't want this to be the end. He wanted the screams to stop, he wanted the pain to stop and all of a sudden it did. His legs gave in to fatigue and his grip on the driftwood broke. His head submerged and a calm washed over him as his eyes faded shut.  
_

_The next thing he could remember was a man speaking to him, telling him his name. Tom opened his eyes and found himself in a hospital. He was in a stable condition but it would take time for him to be back on his feet. The main thing is, he was alive..._

* * *

_It would be an incredibly long time until Tom would again set foot on English soil and by that time, the country was at war. He would enlist and he would fight before returning to his family, before surprising them with his return. He wanted to go back but he knew he wasn't ready. He knew he wasn't in the right frame of mind to go back to Downton just yet and if he were to be part of the war effort then there was no point in going back when he'd get to spend so little time with his family._

_So he went to the front. It was even more dreadful than he'd imagined. He was drained, physically and emotionally through the constant trudging through the dirt, the loss of his friends and the ever growing fear that he would be the next one. The trenches were awful. It was dirty and the stench was revolting. But the true horror of the war was the sounds. The explosions and the sounds of men screaming would haunt Tom in his dreams for many years to come and the sights of the dead and the wounded were too much to bare. He couldn't show emotion in front of the other men and therefore would take any opportunity to spend some time by himself and express his emotions, be it tears or pure anger._

_He had been in service for a while when his last day at the front came. A nearby explosion and some narrowly escaped bullets had an effect on him and the doctor immediately looked him over. It was a heart murmur and it was far to dangerous to for him to stay here. So back to England and back to Downton he went, leaving behind his dear friends, those who were still alive and those who he had lost. _

* * *

These two experiences had changed him. Not a night went by where he could peacefully get through the night without those image haunting his dreams.

He blinked at Sybil, not realising that tears had been streaming down his face. She looked back at him and wiped his tears away before stroking his face to calm him.

"You've been so brave for so long Tom, but you don't need to hold it in any more. Cry if you want, throw things if you want" she said softly, "But please don't ever suffer in silence like this" her own eyes were filling with tears and that pushed him over the edge.

"Oh my brave boy" she cooed, letting his head rest on her lap, stoking his hair as the tears fell. They stayed like this for some time. Tom's tears subsided and his eyes began to droop. Slowly, he drifted off into slumber...

For the first time since the Titanic and the war, he had a peaceful and dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9 - Stay

**_First of all I'd like to apologise for the delay in this chapter! I have been so busy that I'm afraid this fanfic has had to take a bit of a back seat for the time being. I would also like to thank you all for your lovely comments and reviews on the story! You guys are ace! Now I'd just like to say that I am going on the basis that Tom is still called Tom Branson, he is still a Crawley and the son of Robert and Cora but I am going to work on the basis that Tom started to go by the name at his boarding school in Ireland - to fit in better and not to be seen as the son of an Earl - as well as to show his independence from the family, he no longer being the heir, Matthew being the heir. I hope that makes sense! And I hope this chapter was worth the wait..._  
**

**We say goodbye in the pouring rain  
And I break down as you walk away.  
Stay, stay.  
'Cause all my life I've felt this way  
But I could never find the words to say  
Stay, stay.**

**Stay - Hurts**

He was woken by the blinding light through the opened curtains. He blinked. He'd slept through. He searched around for her but she'd gone. He supposed it was for the best that she'd left before someone found them, but he still felt a slight disappointment in not waking up next to her. He lay on the bed for a few moments contemplating last night. He had never felt so vulnerable with another person. He was so scared, but at the same time excited by the new level of intimacy that their relationship had taken. He smiled happily to himself. Today is going to be a good day.

* * *

His expectations of the day had been pretty accurate and he spent the day writing and walking around the glorious grounds of Downton Abbey, Isis bouncing around his legs, as he was dragged along on a cloud of happiness. He was sure now, if he hadn't been before, that he was in love. He had never really seen a woman in the way that he saw Sybil and he knew he would never see any other woman in the way he saw her. She was nothing short of perfection. He had never really had time for women in his life. When he was a young boy, though he doted on his sisters, he never really paid much interest in girls. He thought they were all silly. They played with dollies and had tea parties which Tom saw as the dullest thing in the world. He wanted to read and to play boys games... To charge around the vast gardens of Downton Abbey pretending to be an plane or Prince Arthur slaying dragons. No, girls had always been silly and boring. As he'd got older he found that he thought the same. Immersed in his books he found it difficult to understand how girls, his sisters included, could find joy out of a new frock rather than political history. It also hadn't helped that he went to an all boys school and found himself unsure of how to react with older girls. After that there was certainly no time for women, with the titanic and war he found that he had to remain focused on himself and his friends, rather than a nurse who he was sure he'd never see again.

But now was different. She was different. She wasn't a silly girl who's only interest was whether or not her hat matched with the rest of the outfit. She was smart and interesting. Tom knew that she wouldn't have had an education, but that was very hard to believe when she spoke so passionately of women's rights and other such topics. Yes, he could listen to her for hours but more importantly, he could listen to her talk to him for the rest of his life. If her voice were to be the last sound he heard, then he would die a happy man.

He stood staring out across the estate that was in front of him before turning to his pocket watch and reluctantly turning back towards the house. He wished he could stay out here all day, it was beautifully sunny and warm and seemed such a shame to be kept inside all day. But his mother had been quite insistent that his presence would be required for the afternoon and that granny would be visiting. It definitely took a braver man than him to cross granny, so he decided that it would be in his best interests to return to the house. No matter how boring this afternoon would be, he'd been assured that Matthew would be there which would be a saving grace. Though he felt for Mary that she couldn't be with Matthew, he'd also realised that it wasn't his fault and had formed a firm allegiance with his cousin.

Yes, the two men had formed a bond, one that often got them into trouble with other member's of the family for the mischief that they caused. Be it shared snickers at the end of the dining table (which resulted in a smack from his mother) or be it getting caught impressing Matthew with his very accurate impressions of his family members, the two were always getting annoyed glances from someone or other for very "anti-aristocratic behaviour".

Hopefully this afternoon or this evening Tom would be able to summon such a situation, especially as he'd been perfecting his dowager countess impression complete with disapproving scowl, gripping of cane and of course her innocent but sharp tone that conjured up such classics as "What is a weekend?". Tom chuckled to himself, yes, he could definitely make the most of a dull situation.

* * *

Sybil went about her chores easily today, with a spring in her step and humming a sweet tune as she did so. She got plenty of raised eyebrows from the other members of staff at the dinner table but she didn't care. She was on cloud nine. She knew she was in love, a feeling that she'd never felt before and she was relishing in it. She had never known that someone could feel this happy. It had been a risk going to his room last night, if she'd been caught then she would have lost her job on the spot, but he was worth the risk. He was worth the risk. But was she worth the risk? That thought played at the back of her mind. Was she worth the risk? He had everything and he would have to give it all up for her. Could she really ask that of him? Did he want that? Did he want her? There were so many questions swimming round in her head. She realised how awkward the situation was. She could never understand how he felt, she had so little to lose, she could find another job, she would be okay, but what about him? He'd have to give up his family, his home, his world. Was she worth that? These doubts played at her thoughts. Played in her mind over and over, when all she wanted to do was say "Tom Branson, bet on me", when all she wanted was to prove to him that she was worth the risk, that she was worth it.

She was so occupied by her thoughts that she wasn't listening to the conversation at the table. She straightened up and looked around quickly, hoping nobody had noticed, but Anna was giving her a strange look. Sybil caught Anna's gaze and smiled at her politely before looking down at her food and muttering something about Mrs Patmore's cooking before excusing herself to her room before she needed to continue with her chores. She needed to compose herself, no matter what, she needed to get these thoughts out of her head.

* * *

Sybil had barely had time to sit on her bed when Anna entered the room behind her. Damn, she had noticed. Anna stood in front of Sybil with her hands on her hips.

"Now are you going to tell me what's going on in that head of yours or am I going to have to try and figure it out?"

"It's nothing Anna, honestly, I'm just feeling a bit homesick" she lied.

"Hm, well I would have thought it had something to do with you leaving here in the middle of the night and returning early this morning" she said raising an eyebrow.

Sybil paled, her eyes widening, "I... I... I don't know wh-what you mean" she stammered.

Anna was no fool, she was pretty friendly with Sybil, after all they did share a room and she had noticed her behaviour around Mr Branson. She had to admit, she could see why she had fallen for him. He was handsome and charming and treated the staff in a way no other member of the aristocracy did, but he was still off limits. Not that she'd tell on Sybil, for one it was not her place to say but secondly she cared for Sybil and didn't want her to get into trouble over something that was probably just a silly crush!

"I know about your feelings for Mr Branson" she whispered.

Sybil gasped and her words rushed out in a complete mess, "Annapleasedon'ttellMrCarsonorMrsHughesabou tthispleaseI'mbeggingyou..." Anna put her hand up to halt her.

"I'm not going to tell anyone" Anna smiled, "As long as you promise me we can have a good gossip later" she giggled and Sybil joined in, nodding to her friend and happily sealing their promise with a pinky shake. She felt like a teenager all over again!

* * *

To say Tom was bored was the understatement of the century. Not only was he seated as far away from Matthew has humanly possible at the size of the table, he was sat next to one of their guests for the evening. Her name was Edna and she was exactly the type of girl he loathed. She was a ditsy blonde who was currently talking him through every dress she had brought in what seemed like her life time. He had already been sat there for three quarters of an hour listening to her list off the various and colours they were made from. God help him. He looked at the clock again. Had she really spoken this long without stopping? Did the woman not need to breath? He looked over at her and studied her face. She was fairly pretty he supposed, she had blonde hair, but he preferred brunettes. It was tied back into a neat bun, he preferred the messy ones that the servants tied their's back into. Her nose and face were quite pointy, he thought again, hmm not as nice as Sybil's face. Her lips were funny too, they were thin and pale shade of pink, he had in no way shape or form any desire to kiss them like he did Sybil's lips. Mmmm, Sybil's lips, plump but not too much. The way they curled up in the corners, into that breathtaking smile of hers. Her perfect, perfect lips.

It was only then that Tom realised he hadn't been listening to a word she was saying and it would appear she'd asked him a question.

"I'm sorry?" said Tom, returning his attention to Edna.

"I was just saying do you think I would suit a blue dress better or a red dress better?" she asked smiling.

How the hell was he supposed to know? Still, he didn't want to be rude...

"Erm, I'm not really sure... I suppose it depends on the dress?" he asked rather than stated.

"Yes, you are quite right!" Edna said beaming at him.

She was about to ask him another question, when he was saved by his father announcing that the men should retire to play pool and the women should retire to the drawing room. Tom hung back so that he was the last one to leave and so he could avoid more chatter from Edna. Unfortunately for him, that was never going to happen and he all of a sudden found himself alone with Edna in the hall.

She smiled at him, walking towards him, "Mr Branson, I thought I could catch you on your on for a moment, you see I just wanted to take the chance to tell you how much I admire you. The way you have so easily slotted back into life after the war, one can only imagine the sort of horrors you must have faced" she had been walking ever closer and Tom had been backing up. This girl was far to forward. However, he'd found he'd become trapped, trapped by the wall and now she practically had her whole body pressed against him.

"You are a hero Tom Branson and a handsome one at that"

"Edna, look you're a nice girl, but I don't like you in that..." he began to protest.

"Nonsense" she smiled before attacking him with her lips and kissing him.

* * *

She'd heard that they'd finished dinner and that the dining room was now empty, so Sybil went to fetch the dishes in place of the footmen, the poor dears were getting reprimanded by Carson for some foolish incident that had occurred earlier. She had been told to go through the hall, not the usual way to collect the dishes but it would be a much quicker trip for her if she went this way.

But as she rounded the corner she stopped dead. She saw Tom and he was with a girl. She was walking towards him and in a moment, they were kissing. Sybil's heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest and thrown on the floor. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't believe her stupidity. With tears threatening to fall, she turned and ran from the hallway and into the pouring rain of the Downton Abbey estate. She didn't know where she was running, she just let her legs lead the way...

* * *

He pushed Edna away from him as quickly as he could and that's when he saw her. His heart stopped. She'd seen. She couldn't believe that he liked her. Could she? Her reaction suggested that she did as she turned and ran from the house as quickly as she could. His heart broke. No, she can't believe this, she can't. Tom ran shoved Edna out of the way and ran after her. When outside he yelled her name, but she was gone. He stopped. She had to be here, he couldn't lose her. His heart was breaking with every second, she thinks you don't like her. You've hurt her. You may never see her again.

He charged after her through the rain. _Please don't leave me, _he thought. _Please don't leave me._


	10. Chapter 10 - The Power of love

_**Another update as I left you all on a cliffhanger! I hope you like this chapter. You guys are amazing, I love your reviews and comments and they are really, really brilliant! Now this chapter is a bit bitty and all over the place so may I apologise in advance but I've had a section of this written for a while and really wanted to get it out there! Thanks again for reading and please feel free to keep commenting!**_

**The power of love is a curious thing**  
**Make a one man weep, make another man sing**  
**Change a hawk to a little white dove**  
**More than a feeling, that's the power of love.**

**The Power of love - Huey Lewis and the news**

* * *

They had found him outside in the rain and mud. After being unable to find Sybil he'd curled up on the ground and sobbed softly leaning against the wall of the Abbey. His world had come crashing down, positive that he had lost her. His defences came crashing down too. All of a sudden his heart was in too much pain to be able to keep the horrors of his past locked in and with the mixture of the rain and mud he was back there. Explosions, bodies, sleepless nights, fear, pain, tears. He felt like he was breaking and the pain he was currently feeling, the excruciating sorrow that he had lost the woman he loved because of some stupid bimbo, blocked out the sound of his name being called.

* * *

Swarms of people gathered around him, Matthew, Mary, Cora and Carson, with Edna hovering in the background as they watched in horror at Tom's frantic eyes, his ear peircing sobs and wails.

"For goodness sake, get him inside!" yelled Mary.

"My poor baby!" wailed Cora.

Silence from the others as Matthew and Carson helped Tom inside. He didn't stop sobbing, he couldn't stop. He was in too much pain. They grabbed a blanket and wrapped him in it.

"He's frozen the poor chap" said Matthew, rubbing Tom's arms to try and get some warmth back into them.

"What's wrong with him" Cora cried, tears falling, "Is he going to be okay?"

"We need to get him upstairs" commanded Mary, her eyes filled with concern until Richard appeared and her look of concern turned to anger as she saw the smirk plastered on his face.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!?" Yelled Mary angrily. She had never raised her voice to Sir Richard before but how dare he smirk at this situation. His smirk quickly disappeared and he stared at Mary. She marched over to him and dragged him by the arm into another room. Cora could hear them arguing as she ascended the staircase, but Mary wasn't important at the moment. Tom was.

* * *

They mothered him until late into the evening, trying to keep him warm and trying to figure out what was going on. Matthew had seen this before, many of his friends from the front having been effected in a similar way to Tom by the horrors of the war, but Matthew didn't understand that Tom's real grief was down to a shattered heart through losing Sybil.

They decided the best medicine was to let him get some sleep and see how he was in the morning. He didn't sleep. He couldn't. He just kept whispering over and over again, "Please don't leave me love. Please don't leave me." Tears escaped his eyes, trickling down his face and so began the longest night of his life. When the sun finally began to rise, Tom hadn't moved a muscle. Curled up in his bed, he whispered soothing Gaelic words to himself, "_Beidh rudaí cuma níos fearr ar maidin_"*. He stopped then when he heard a noise in the hall. It was Anna, going about her daily duties. Hearing another set of footsteps on the landing , Mrs Hughes approached and Tom's ears pricked up when Sybil's name was mentioned.

"Anna, where is Sybil, she's not started her chores this morning!" asked Mrs Hughes.

"She's in our room, Mrs Hughes. She's not feeling very well."

Tom sat up immediately. She was here. He'd not lost her. She was here. He had to go and see her, he had to tell her how he felt. But more than anything he needed to see her beautiful face and hear her melodic voice to remind himself that there was still beauty in this world...

* * *

He sat outside the door to her room and listened to her soft sobs and whispered words.

"Why would he like you? Why would somebody like him ever be into a girl like you?" She whispered softly.  
He closed his eyes, lightly hitting his head against the wall over and over. He had done this. He was the reason for her tears and that made him feel sick. It made his heart ache to think that he was the person causing her pain when all he wanted was to be the one to take that pain away. He felt his eyes begin to water and looked towards the floor before standing up. He had to say something. He had to go in there and tell her how he felt. Tell her that she was the most special and most perfect girl in the world. Tell her that he had felt things that he had never felt before. He took a deep breath and decided it was now or never. He knocked lightly on the door. Silence. Behind the 6cm of wood that separated the two of them was a bleary eyed Sybil. Hearing the knock she had sprung up into a sitting position. Drying her eyes on the back of her hand she checked herself in the mirror. Acceptable.

"Come in" she stammered.  
The door opened slowly and Tom stood in the doorway, she blinked up at him and instantly regretted allowing him to come in. She looked acceptable, but when she was around him she needed to look more than that. Tom looked down at her and silently wandered to sit on the end of her mattress. He sat in silence for a second, taking in his surroundings before he built up the courage to speak.  
"This is your room?"  
She hadn't been expecting that question but responded anyway, "Yes, why, what's wrong with it?"  
"It's so small and…" he paused for a second, he had never seen the servants rooms before and he was shocked to see their rooms in comparison to his... He realised then that he might have offended Sybil but before he could apologise she was addressing him.  
"You shouldn't be here" she whispered to him, "If Mr Carson realises you're here, or worse, your father, we'll both be in for it… And if your, your" she stuttered on the word, sighing she decided it was too painful to say girlfriend and opted for her name instead, "Edna, if she realises you're here and you're talking to me, well she might get… Jealous." She looked down towards the floor again, unwilling and too embarrassed to make eye contact with him.

"If he comes in I'll take the blame" he watched her closely for a moment before adding, "And why should she be jealous? She's Matthew's friend, not mine, we barely know each other, she kissed me Sybil...".  
He got the reaction he was hoping for. Her head shot up and she gazed directly into his eyes. Her eyes glistened as she spoke her next words,  
"You're not together" she asked, eyes fixated on his.  
"No, we're just… Well, acquaintances I guess, she's frightfully dull!" he teased before he watched for her reaction and to his relief a smile spread across her face.  
As she realised he was staring at her she stopped smiling and looked at her hands, "Not that it's any of my business" she said.  
He couldn't bare this any more. He wanted to scream his head off. He wanted the whole world to know how he felt about her, but most of all, he wanted to tell her how he felt about her and for her to believe him.  
"Sybil, I…" he began, then it was his turn to look shy and embarrassed, he didn't have a clue what to do, he had never felt so hopeless around somebody before.  
"Yes?" She asked looking up at him through long eyelashes.  
Okay breath he thought. Just tell her. Just tell her.  
"Sybil, I want you to know that, that…" he paused, "I heard you, I heard what you were saying, I was listening to you through the door… No, don't look at me like that, I wasn't spying on you." He sighed. This was harder than he thought it'd be. "I heard what you said and don't believe it for one second. How could a guy not like a girl like you? I don't care about your class, my class… You are sweet and beautiful and funny and perfect and I think I'm falling in…" he was breathing heavily now. He felt like he was having a panic attack.

She looked at him eagerly.  
"You think you're what" she said desperately leaning forward.  
"I think I'm falling in love with you" he said exasperated, gazing into her eyes. He couldn't ever remember feeling this vulnerable with someone. Not Matthew or with his sisters. He told them most things, but he'd never fully let someone know how he felt, let them have so much power over him.  
She gazed back into his eyes intently, a smile creeping onto her face and her eyes glistening with tears she leant in closer to him.  
"You love me" she whispered, her face inches from his.  
"I love you" he whispered, "And I promise to devote every waking minute to your happiness".

She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against his, her lips now in a wide smile as a tear trickled down her cheek,  
"I love you too" she whispered happily, "I love you too".  
He smiled too now, knowing that she felt the same way he did made his heart hammer in his chest, leaning into her further so that there was a matter of centimeters between them. Placing one hand firmly on the mattress to support his weight and using the other to tilt her chin upwards, he gently kissed her, their lips parting as they did so. It was like fireworks and time just seemed to stop. That was until they heard voices in the corridor. They pulled away from their kiss, but their faces were still close to each other. He looked into her eyes briefly, planting another quick kiss on her soft lips and then looked towards the door as the footsteps and voices got louder.  
"I have to go" he whispered softly, not wanting to leave her.  
"I wish you could stay" she whispered back.  
He dragged her by her hand to the door and she followed him. He pulled her into him, wrapping one arm behind her back and securely onto her waist and kissed her again. He loved kissing her. But he knew he had to leave. He didn't want her to get into trouble because of him. For now, knowing that she loved him too was enough.

He slipped out of her bedroom unseen and hurried down along to his room. Closing the door behind him he smiled. He had never been this happy. Returning to his bed and laying back looking at the ceiling he sighed.

"One day I'm going to marry her".

* * *

***Things will be alright in the morning - I used google translate so this is probably totally wrong! I apologise.**


End file.
